247 – Friendship is going through a crisis between men, especially the young ones. This strange phenomenon, tentatively called “friendship stagnation”, is being noted by the press in the United States, Refers to a report from El Pais newspaper. Mainstream media such as CNN and Vox chart this disturbing trend. According to data from Gallup and the Survey Center on American Life, the percentage of men who claim to have at least six close friends halved between 1990 and 2022. Pandemic, more than 20% of Americans even say they have no close friends. .
If we take this data at the bottom of the letter, says psychologist and family physician Sebastian Tong, “we will witness an alarming deterioration in friendship as an institution and a concept.” The supply chain of kindred spirits willing to “walk alongside us” from dawn to dusk, as Albert Camus said, is disrupted. However, Tong offers one aspect: “Perhaps what’s really changing is our cultural conception of camaraderie.” Meaning, “It is very likely that in a world of many superficial and unimportant relationships through channels such as social networks, we have raised the bar on what we understand to be true friendship, and many of our social relationships fall short of this new requirement.” In other words, “the discrepancy between everyday reality and our expectations makes us idealize friendship to the point of demanding more than it can reasonably give us.”
Why does this happen to men more than women? According to Tong, “Maybe just because men are more likely to express feelings of dissatisfaction in surveys.” Or, in the words of California psychologist Ron Riggio, because men have a “more functional” view of friendship. They’re looking for “occasional partners” to share a little routine with, rather than “confidants or a social support network,” which is something women tend to do more.
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