When we talk about successful people, there is one quality they have in common: emotional intelligence. CNBC Make It columnist Poina Pompliano spoke with Chris Voss, former FBI agent and head of international negotiations for 24 years, to reveal the secrets of those who possess this skill during the interview.
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The power of a quiet voice
Foss revealed the first trick he used in crucial negotiations, such as the day he dealt with two robbers who took three hostages at a New York bank. This technique became known as “Night Radio DJ Voice” – a calm, objective tone of voice.
This approach has the potential to reassure the interlocutor’s brain, creating a more honest and direct atmosphere in the conversation. “If you speak loudly in a calm tone, you can calm down too,” he explains.
reflection to understand
The second tactic is a true reversal strategy. Voss encourages repetition of phrases said by the other to encourage him to delve deeper into the topic.
For example, if an attacker says, “I had a horrible day because of the stress I was going through,” Voss responds, “What stress are you under?” This technique shows that you are paying attention and motivates the caller to open up more.
The art of shaping feelings
Finally, the third tactic is to assume that you understand the other person’s feelings. Voss followed up his conversation with his abuser with statements like, “So, it wasn’t your fault, was it?” or “You’re sorry, right?”
This technique caused the attacker to reflect on his actions and eventually turn himself in. Assuming you understand how the other person is feeling, you have the ability to influence their emotions and steer the conversation strategically.
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